I was very comfortable in this role, perhaps too comfortable, and then God called me to the seminary. The conversation went something like this...

God: Katie I'm calling you to the church

Me: Seriously?

God: yes

Me: I'm not sure I'm hearing your right...you want me to go to seminary?

God: yes

Me: but why? I don't feel comfortable confronting someone about faith, if they bring it up then sure I'll start talking, but I can't just bring up faith....why in the world would you want ME to go to seminary?

God: 'cause (yes, sometimes God talks to me in Texas slang...)

Me: CAUSE?  what kind of an answer is CAUSE?  

God: just trust me

Me: awwww, nooooo.  Don't say that.  How can I argue with that???

God: exactly.

Me: grrrrrrrr....ok fine I'll go

Ok perhaps that's a little trivial but basically that's what happened.  Now I've been in this seminary place for about a semester and a half and I'm still as confused as ever as to why God has placed me here.  Some days I think I want to work at St. Jude's Hospital, other days I just want to live in Waco forever (i know...weird), other days I start missing my Mom and just want to move to Austin, live in Westlake, and be an awesome Mom just like her....

It's frustrating really.  I like to be in control, I like to know what I'm doing with my life, and every time I try to plan out my future nothing lines up.  

All that to say, I finally just questioned God.  You know, one of those good "come to Jesus meetings" with....well Jesus.  I asked him what I'm doing here, and to give me a sign, even a small one, just to let me know that I'm doing the right thing (well that's the shortened version of what I said).

After that I decided to go to a meeting at Truett for the Spiritual Life division of Baylor.  I wasn't planning on going, but I've been searching for a campus job for this upcoming fall so I figured I might as well check it out although I had no intention of finding anything that would spark my interest. 

During the meeting they started talking about the Resident Chaplains and something inside me said "here's your sign" (but not in the Bill Engvall voice that I'm sure most of you just used)

After the meeting I once again questioned God in the car...

Me: Resident Chaplaincy?  Resident Chaplaincy?!?!  How in the world am I qualified to do that?

God: well you don't know now do you...

Me: Well...no...but it doesn't sound like something I would be good at

God: Did you ever see yourself going to seminary before I led you there

Me: Well...no...but still.  I'm getting married, I can't live in the same building as a bunch of undergraduates.

God: Just leave that up to me

Me: So is this what I'm going to do?

God: I can't tell you that yet.  But you need to apply, this is a process you need to go through

Me: but why?

God: just trust me

Me: oh no, not again! 

So now I'm applying to be a resident chaplain at Baylor.  Steven has been so supportive (It's amazing how God not only speaks to us directly but through those who we trust). 

I'm completely nervous, feel VERY out of my element; but feel like I have the support I need to try this out.  In the first 12 hours I started coming up with all these different ways I could mentor to a bunch of Freshman girls.  Ideas just kept on popping up in my head and all of a sudden I realized "hey...maybe I could be good at this!"  Then I started freaking out and all those feeling went away...oh well.  baby steps at first. 

I'm excited to see where this goes (and by excited I mean more scared than I've been in a long time), but I have a feeling this next month I'm going to learn a lot about myself spiritually, which will be the breakthrough I think I've been needing for a while now.

....time to start stepping out of that box I've put myself in.  

Social welfare is taught throughout the Christian faith.  The Old and New Testament texts both highly value the ideals of justice and righteousness, and it is on these principles that the community of God is built.   As a Christian, I look to these texts and values as I formulate my own views of social welfare.  My personal experiences also shape my perspective, sometimes in favor of these teachings, and sometimes in opposition to them.    

            Justice is repeatedly taught throughout the Old and New Testaments as an act of helping others to gain their social footing.  When God was first setting up a relationship with his covenant people he taught the value of justice.  In Leviticus we read about the jubilee years.  This was set up so that every fifty years all land was returned to its original owner and all debts were forgotten.  This allowed for everyone to “start over” so that there was no class division among the people.  Deuteronomy chapter twenty-four depicts a similar concept when God tells his people to only take what is needed and to leave the rest for the “alien, the orphan, and the widow” (Deuteronomy 24:19, New Revised Standard Version). 

God blessed those who acted in ways of justice.  The prophet Isaiah touches on this message of reward, “if you offer your food to the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted, then your light shall rise in the darkness and your gloom be like the noonday” (Isaiah 58:10).  Proverbs describes the punishment for not helping others, “If you close your ear to the cry of the poor, you will cry out and not be heard” (Proverbs 21:13). 

Perhaps one of the most obvious passages on the message of justice occurs later in Proverbs when it is stated, “Speak out for those who cannot speak, for the rights of all the destitute.  Speak out, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy” (Proverbs 31:8-9).  Here we clearly see that justice is the act of helping those who cannot help themselves, and being the voice for those that would not be heard otherwise.  Second only to idolatry, the prophets accuse the Israelites and Judeans of their blatant neglect of justice, and consider it one of the main reasons that God will send their people into exile.  Through these late Old Testament texts we clearly see that justice was an expectation of the covenant people. 

            This leads to the greatest example of justice that we have as Christians to look at, Jesus.  Because of the New Testament texts we no longer act justly because God will reward us, but because Jesus is our example to follow.  Ephesians teaches us that we are “created in Christ Jesus for good works” (Ephesians 2:10); and in the judgment of Matthew we are taught that the good works we do for others we in turn do for God (Matthew 25:31-46). 

            When examining the idea of righteousness in the Old Testament I think of two phrases, moral correctness and faithfulness.  The righteous are constantly juxtaposed with the wicked throughout these texts, who are defined as sinners and those not of the faith.  In the New Testament though, we clearly see an abandonment of “the law” and from that point, righteousness, for Christians, is based solely on faith.  “For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but one that comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God based on faith” (Philippians 3:8b-9).  No longer can someone boast of their own righteousness based on their following of the law, righteousness now comes from God.

            It is my belief that an “ideal” society would be based on these two ideals, justice and righteousness.  Isaiah perhaps says this best, “Then justice will dwell in the wilderness, and righteousness abide in the fruitful field.  The effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever” (Isaiah 32:16-17).  The mess in our society today is created in large part from a lack of justice and righteousness. 

            Jesus broke down the social norms of his society.  He ministered to the outcasts of his day, the poor, oppressed, women, lepers, children, prostitutes and tax collectors.  He called his followers to join him in his social endeavors.  With Jesus there are no statuses, “there is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).  From this perspective it is easy to see how our roles as people of God differ from what society has depicted for us.  In a culture with statuses, each group serves a different function/purpose; but in a culture without statuses, each person is free to help others in whatever way they can.  Jesus calls us to look out for our “brothers and sisters” of faith and provide them with the resources that we have and they are lacking.  Those with money give to those who have none, those who are capable of loving give to those who have never received that from their own family.  In this “ideal” society you do not give because you will receive, you give because you have, and want to share.

(Skipping some stuff)

When I look at our social welfare policy today, I see that it has been altered by the actions of those who we consider the “unworthy.”  Many of the regulations set up such as time limits on assistance, strict requirements, and the way society looks down on those in need have all been put into place because of the “abuse” that has occurred by the few.  Instead of creating programs that can reach a broader scope of those in need, we restrict them so that they will be abused less frequently.  The only problem with this is that in the process we end up limiting opportunities to many who have no intention of abusing the system.  Some would argue that by loosening the restrictions on social welfare, people would abuse the system more.  Perhaps, but if we follow the example of Jesus, who gave to the tax-collector, an abuser of the system of his day, then we should give to all of those in need.  Why should we limit the resources of those who require our help because of the abusive actions of the few?

            Through following the example of Jesus in regard to justice, righteousness, statuses, roles, and resources, those in our society who need help would find it, and those who would abuse the system might not feel the need to do so.  Take the example of the tax collector; after being shown compassion from Jesus, he turned from his ways and gave back all he had taken and more.  From these practices we would gain peace, and as a result our culture would have quietness and trust forever (paraphrased from Isaiah 32:17-16).